“I Would Rather Do Anything Else Than Grade Your Final Papers”

Dear Students Who Have Just Completed My Class,

…I would rather have a sustained conversation with my grandfather about politics and government supported healthcare and what’s wrong with the system today and why he doesn’t believe in homeowner’s insurance because it’s all a scam than grade your Final Papers. Rather than grade your Final Papers, I would stand in the aisle at Lowe’s and listen patiently to All the Men mansplain the process of buying lumber and how essential it is to sight down the board before you buy it to ensure that it’s not bowed or cupped or crook because if you buy lumber with defects like that you’re just wasting your money even as I am standing there, sighting down a 2×4 the way my father taught me 15 years ago.

Full piece in McSweeneys.

To my current students: Blogging something is not an endorsement of it’s content. Except, of course, when it is so true.

18 Responses

  1. …I would rather have a sustained conversation with my grandfather about politics and government supported healthcare and what’s wrong with the system today and why he doesn’t believe in homeowner’s insurance because it’s all a scam than grade your Final Papers

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  3. Don’t worry, I would also do anything else than prepare for your final exam. With the difference that I cannot postpone week after week the moment when it’s due. Looking it the bright side, it’ll be over quicker.