What if a unicorn were on the U.S. National Security Council?

The unicorn starts out by laying out its plan to counter the North Korean nuclear threat. It says, “Create a giant rainbow over the entire country that lasts 100 years and then flood the DMZ with thousands of puppies—er, kittens. Because nothing’s cuter than a kitten scratching and meowing to get in somewhere.

Then, after we break through, the Marines go in and take over any nuclear facilities, turning them into ‘Happy Centers,’ filled with flowers, cupcakes, popcorn (low sodium), toys, smiles, trust, and kinship.”

That’s from Ken Saji writing in the fiction quarterly McSweeney’s. Read the full thing.

(via MoLT).

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