Chris Blattman

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The joy of (UN) sex

The UN has a controversial new guide to sex education. I’m not sure what a UN guide to sex involves, but after more than one research grant experience (and witnessing friends with local NGOs), I have a pretty good guess.

United Nations: “Hi handsome. Would you like to have sex with me?”

Me: Sure.

UN: Oh wait. Hang on a minute.

Me: OK.

UN: We’re updating our internal copulation guidelines. We’ll have sex in a moment.

Me: Ready and waiting.

UN: Um, I forgot to fill out the right forms, so there may be further delays. By the way, can you send me your latest CV?

Me: Uh, okay.

[…]

Me: Are you still there? Why aren’t you returning my phone calls?

UN: Sorry, we were on vacation in July and August. I promise to start the approval process this afternoon.

Me: Start the process? I thought we started last year?

UN: Good news. We have approval for sex from my supervisor. But there’s an accountant in Bangladesh with some questions. And he’s on vacation for September and October.

Me: You do realize I’ve said no to three other international organizations while waiting for you?

UN: Thanks for waiting. We’re ready now. But we’ve reorganized around here and now you’ll actually have to romance my sister, UNDP. Can you be done in 10 minutes?

Me: I am so out of here.

[Months pass]

United Nations: “Hi darling. Would you like to have sex with me?”

11 Responses

  1. just not funny… sex education it’s for human civilization to make better future. UN really need to take care about this…. human population went down coz of this…. people just do sex just for fun…. it’s time to do sex for human population

  2. Very very funny. Just as well you didn’t wait – no doubt it would have been done without enthusiasm and required post-coital evaluation

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