While I know that millions of Christians predict the Rapture in our time, I was not aware that some people are actively keeping score.
In forecasting the end of days, some indicators are obvious. Number 1: False Christs (there are currently 3). Number 27: instances of Global Turmoil (a conservative 5 are counted). And Number 31: Marks of the Beast (of which there are 3).
Now, it has been some years since I read Revelations, but other Rapture tracking indicators took me by surprise, namely Number 29 (Liberalism), and Number 39 (Civil Rights).
Strangely, two of the highest scores are Number 4 (Unemployment) and Number 5 (Inflation). The apocalypse will not, it appears, follow the Phillips Curve.
Sadly the FAQ do not explain the curious choice of indicators. They do, however, offer nice answers to “Is it okay for preachers to drive fancy cars and live in mansions?” (no) and “Can my child defend himself against bullies?” (yes).
Also addressed are age-old questions such as “How fast can a camel go?“, “Is gold a good investment?” and “What is God’s favorite color?“
In case you are wondering: “70 miles a day”, “no, the dividends are terrible”, and “all of them”.
4 Responses
Hilarious! I think a better indicator for the end of the world might be something like sales of at home lab equipment (many scientists say that the most likely downfall of humans would be due to some sort of genetic engineering project done in a home) or the amount of “missing” enriched nuclear material.
I’ve always wondered why some church officials/cheerleaders think it’s okay for them to give advice that should probably only be given by an expert. For example, the investment question about gold, or the more widely practiced preacher as psychotherapist or sex educator.
Does it mean anything that the lowest Rapture score is under Clinton’s administration while the highest is under Bush’s?
I love the fact that things like high unemployment, which are apparently a sign of the end time, are only relevant in the US of A (one sign of the rapture approaching being that unemployment has reached 6.1%, and I am guessing that’s in the US…..)
Common mistake: It’s the Book of Revelation, not plural.