Chris Blattman

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The latest in anti-baby theft devices

Tuesday morning I received a second niece, Jaime Ella. My brother sent many adorable photos, among which just one was alarming. Literally.

If you’re thinking, “hey, that looks exactly like one of those doohickeys they put on Banana Republic shirts,” you would be right. Ottawa Civic General Hospital now attaches GPS locators and alarm devices to all its newborn arrivals. It flashes every three seconds, and sets off alarms if the baby leaves the ward (or if the device is severed).

You know–just in case you’re worried someone is going to run off with your newborn.

Is there some Great Canadian baby theft epidemic of which I’m not aware? This is Canada, people. We don’t even lock our doors (or so Michael Moore tells me).

I assume that stealing a baby does not spray yellow paint all over you, but that could be in the works.

7 Responses

  1. In Fairfax Hospital (VA) they nicknamed it “Baby Lo-Jack”. If the alarm gets set off, they shut down the whole wing and elevators. I was there during a drill once, yeah they treat it very seriously. They also keep checking wrist bands to verfy correct parents during normal transitions.

    Great peace of mind for parents. (assuming you want to keep your kid)

    Ohh .. try injuring a baby to get it off ….. the baby’s screams will be louder than the all commercial alarm system.

  2. Stealing a baby does spay “yellow paint” on the thief, that is mother natures anti-theft diviece

  3. My last two babies had these devices attached to them. Amazing the number of times the alarms go off when well-meaning relatives take a baby out to the lobby to show her off ;)

  4. I’d be concerned that someone interested in stealing my baby might do something harmful to the baby’s foot in an attempt to remove the sensor.

  5. They’ve been doing this for a long time in the US. I had a baby 3 years ago in Houston, TX and these were already in there. If the baby goes out of the ward the device AUTOMATICALLY locks down the elevators, doors, everything. I think it is pretty cool and there have been cases were they have come in helpful.

  6. It’s actually at the Ottawa General Hospital. The Ottawa Civic Hospital still allows you to walk off with someone else’s newborn… or so my friend who delivered there three weeks ago says.

  7. Best use of “literally” in a long time- thanks for using it correctly! Bugs the heck out of me when people say, “I literally froze to death.” Well spoken, sir.

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